The building I work in is shared by two other agencies; one of which does air quality testing for the Ministry of Environment. The roof it littered with all sorts of devices that monitor the air. A few months ago, a small building was built on the roof to monitor the toxic yellow dust that drifts toward Korea from the Gobi desert. The dust is seriously problematic. During a dust storm last week, I was left with a really painful sore throat (it’s gone now).
Anyway! There are two entrences to the roof; one on each end. I usually smoke on the roof in the same spot on my side of the building, and never really go in and out of the exit on the other side, but today I did.
This is what happened.
I went up to the roof at around 9:12am to have my first smoke of the morning. As I gazed out at the Bulgwang smog puffing on a Mild Seven, my bowels decided they wanted me to visit the crapper. I finished my smoke and decided to go across the roof and head to the bathroom from the other entrance.
As I was walking across the roof, I let out a real screamer of a fart: a 방귀 in Korean. No one was around, it felt so good, i smiled, and continued on my way to the stairwell. Not five paces after almost ripping a hole in my boxer-briefs a man burst out from a doorway and stopped instantly when he saw me. He stood there and said “방귀?” I looked around to make sure he was talking to me. He said again, “방귀? You 방귀?”
How in the hell did he hear that, I thought to myself. I said yes and uncomfortably laughed. He laughed and pointed to a machine near the spot I squeezed the monster out. The stress on his face disappeared and he said “Ok good…disaster no!” and turned around and went back to his office.
Moral of this story? Man who goes to bed with itchy ass, wakes up to find a machine telling him he has stinky fingers.