The cafeteria was packed today at lunch. People were rushing to get their trays, forgetting to get their spoon, then rushing back and pushing people out of the way. It was pretty much pandemonium in the Cafeteria, and I did not have the patience for it, but bit my tongue because I was pretty damn hungry.
I always head to the cafeteria early to avoid stuff like this, but today everyone seems to have gotten there a few minutes earlier than me. It wasn’t until I finally sat down and overheard snippets of, quite literally, every conversation around me that I figured it out.
Everyone was eating early so that they could watch the most important baseball game ever, in the history of the world, perhaps the universe over their lunch hour. As I was finishing up my food I noticed that waves of people were leaving the caf, so I waited a few more minutes for the dust to settle.
As I was waiting in line to drop my tray off at the tray window, the man in front of me was jibber jabbering away about the baseball game to the person in front of him. I could feel the people waiting behind me pressing up closer and closer but I stood my ground and waited patiently. Then, as the excited conversation in front of me climaxed, the dude (in a purple v-neck sweater) in front of me leapt back and raised one of his arms to demonstrate how an outfielder catches a baseball just when everyone in the crowd believes it to be a home run. He smashed into my tray, and liquidy red fish juice splashed all over his sweater.
I said sorry in Korean and English, and picked up a wet rag to wipe the juice off his sweater. He gave me the most evil of looks and replied in English “omg, why don’t you watch where you’re going! Now im going to miss the game! EEEEESHHHHH!!!!”, and as I began wiping fish juice off his back he blurted “You missed some there, hurry up! Ughhhhhh!!!”.
Well that was all I could handle. I threw the rag back where I got it and said “If you hadn’t been acting the fool in line, this wouldn’t have happened. Wash it yourself”. It felt so good to say that, and to celebrate, I didn’t leave. I walked over to the water cooler like I usually do, picked up a metal cup, and had myself a nice cold cup of water.
The idiot was left looking like a retard trying to wipe fish juice from under his right arm with his right hand. Telling him it would be easier to use his left hand would have been too kind.
If you are wondering who won, updates and commentary regarding the BIGGEST GAME IN THE HISTORY OF ALL HISTORY can be found here.