Smoking in the Bathroom

Apparently there was an institute-wide email (which I deleted because it was in hangul) yesterday asking employees not to smoke in the bathroom anymore. Western readers may find this a tad strange, but in Korea, men like to have a smoke while they take a dump. I'd go so far as to say that being able to smoke in a bathroom is cultural. Anyway, I don't smoke in the bathroom (often) while I am taking a dump, so the new regulation does not really affect me the same way it might affect old school Korean men over thirty.

Today, I was confronted by a PhD regarding yesterday's memo while I was standing at the urinal with an unlit cigarette in my mouth.

PhD: I guess no one translated the memo for you; the one that was sent out yesterday.

Me: Pardon me?

PhD: There is to be no more smoking in the bathrooms. There were complaints from non-smokers like myself.

Me: Oh yeah. I heard about that memo. I think it is rather comical.

PhD: Why is that? Second hand smoke is unhealthy.

Me: PhD's are allowed to smoke in their offices. You don't ever have to sit down and speak with a PhD who is a smoker? Also, how much of your day is spent in the bathroom?

PhD: Those points are irrelevant.

Me: I'll tell you what's irrelevant. This conversation is irrelevant. I have a cigarette in my mouth not because I am about to smoke it. I have a cigarette in my mouth because I am using the urinal and I don't want to put it down anywhere in here. With your PhD in whatever environmental science you studied, you didn't notice that my cigarette is unlit and that in its current state is not putting your health at any risk?

PhD: *shocked*

Me: Have a nice day and avoid the roof at all cost; it's where the smokers dwell.

before 9:05

The alarm did go off at 6:20 this morning. I think I got up and shut it off. It was Sookies alarm, which went off at 6:50 and then again at 7:00 which finally encouraged me to sit up in bed, cross my legs, and look at the clock.

I went to the kitchen and filled the coffee maker with water and Illy ground goodness and headed to the bathroom. Emerging from the bathroom I headed back to the kitchen to get two cups of coffee ready. With coffee in hand I sat down at my computer to see if anyone had commented on my previous days flickr posts. Nothing new. Looked at the clock again and headed to the bathroom window to have a cigarette. The morning was bright and while I enjoyed my first mild seven of the day I watched the maintenance man sweep garbage into a dustpan fashioned from a large rectangular can.

"Sookyyyyyyyyy, it's time to wake up! Wakey wakey!" as I left the bathroom; my eyes fixated on the half finished cup of coffee on the desk. Knowing my breath smelled like morning smoke, I took a few sips of coffee and swished it around in my mouth hoping to minimize the smell before my morning mission to wake Sooky up. No can do. It's early and she's tired. I can understand. Monday is a bitch, and work is work. I slide back out of bed feeling somewhat defeated and before heading back to the bathroom window I tune into the bbc news; turning up the volume to wake up levels. As I inhale and exhale nicotine goodness, Sooky cheerfully calls out good morning and I crane my neck to see her sitting on the edge of the bed sipping on the mug of illy caffeine goodness that I had made earlier.

We get ready for work and part ways in the driveway. I head to the subway, while she heads for the bus. I light another mild seven and send short text messages to the woman I love so much. I pass men in suits and wonder what time they'd woken up, schoolboys and girls standing on corners waiting for friends, and old women carrying bags of vegetables. I use the bathroom of an office tower; entering through the back. The man at the security desk glances at me briefly. I make no indication I notice his existence.

As I emerge from the front of the office tower I am confronted with a consistent wave of office workers heading toward me. Some looking fresh faced and raring to go, while others look blank and somber. Commuters are a boring breed. We simply deal with it because we have to. There are those of us who simply head to work with nothing in our ears, and nothing to watch, while others pass the time listening to music on their mp3 players or staring at visual media on their DMB phones, PSPs, and other audio DMB/DIVX players. I dislike the visual commuters. They walk slower, don't pay attention to where they are going, and are constantly distracted by what they are watching. They annoy me in some subtle way.

I travel 13 stations north to get to work. The commute is boring and I don't usually get a seat until the seventh stop. After the seventh, eighth and ninth stations, the train is pretty empty and I can stretch my legs. For the most part, the remainders of the passengers left on the train get off at my station. We rush up the stairs, through the turnstile, and out exit two. Half run to get across the road before the light turns, and the rest of us make our way up 'institute hill'.

I get to the office and press power on the computer. While the slow piece of shit with two cdroms boots up, I clean my mug and fill the humidifier. I log into windows, startup firefox, log into icb, nate, gmail, and check my outlook. With nothing to edit I begin reading the news and get settled into my day of not really doing anything.