I Startled Them

Oh those fucking churchies are everywhere on this rock. They hand you all sorts of crap in the subway, and on the steps of the bus stations. They preach into old guitar amps and come by as you stand on the subway. Just the other day I saw a monk walk up the subway car throwing a card on a bunch of unexpecting laps. The old monk cant talk. No one gives him trouble. To my amazement, he walks back to where he started and begins collecting the cards again. My amazement hightened when I see people handing the monk "chun-wons" (roughly a buck). I saw a mom hand the card to her young son. She wanted nothing to do with that monk. Perhaps just not her denomonation.

The Female Korean teachers have all been turned to the church. They are infact religious freaks. They eat it up. Why? I have no way of being certain, but im sure the fact that they are unmarried women over thirty have something to do with it. They have failed in their parents eyes to fullfull their cultural "job", and have turned to god for forgivness. One of our teacher's even went so far as to say that Jesus Christ was her boyfriend. This same teacher left the school just last week to head off to Switzerland for four years to live in abject poverty with a band of nuns. She says she is going to become a "Missionary", but I think instead she's going for those sexy black and whites.

If you count the crosses from the roof of my school you will reach the number nineteen. Startled you are, this does not even compare to the number of reverse swastikas you see as you walk the streets. These houses of worship are everywhere, though tucked away better than the big red glowing crosses hanging about.

This evening after work while I was sitting on my bed "crunching some numbers" there came a few soft knocks at the door. "what sooth!"

displaying my paint stained oversized boxers, an old stuzzy t-shirt with the sleeves cut off, and a mop of all directions, I walked towards the door and let out a "who is it". I heard a female voice and prepared for the ultimate of annoyances; my old roommates sex fiend ex-gf.

I opened the door and freaked out about six or seven churchies. Bibles in hand they all stepped back and looked all together astonished and rattled by what they saw in the door. I said in a loud booming voice "well hello there! how are you today? COFFEE!?" I beckoned them inside. Oh the confusion on their faces. It was priceless. I felt as though they had become something of a joy for me. One of them spouted something in Korean. I heard the word je-shush three times.

fickle as I am I tired of them quickly and looked at them sternly and said "Im with amway", closing the door as I fumbled "anee-ka-sayoh" (bye bye i think) and "shil-a-ham-ne-da" (keep up the good work).